Giving my thanks

Thanksgiving usually is not a holiday i particularly look forward too. There are no gifts given... except for the extra pounds and the annual "thanksgiving pants" (which will be my leggings and boxer shorts this year). Not to sound selfish, but usually my Thanksgivings have consisted of starving all day, then eating too much food, with extended family I barley see. We have awkward conversation and I never get to go lay down and absorb the food I just consumed. But this year will be different.

I have so much more to be thankful for his year. It may sound cliche, but I truly am thankful for my family. I don't think I've ever been this excited for Thanksgiving before because this past year my family has been ripped and torn apart. But slowly we are getting taped back together.

My parents were on the road to divorce. and after some well deserved time apart. Some soul searching on my moms part, and some realization on my fathers part, they are working on it. This will be the first time in a little under a year we have ALL been together.

I'm a little nervous about this weekend but My brother will be there and hes the one person that can get me through this all. Wow. I'm sitting in the Eugene airport crying because I still can't believe my parents are working on their marriage. I had truthfully lost all hope. I've seen my mom grow and make changes in her life, she knows what she wants and she won't settle for anything less. I really didn't think my dad was going to be up to the challenge of providing my mom with the love and affection she needs, but he is. He's playin' with the big boys.

I guess I can't be too trusting in this situation. When my mom first told me that they were going to work on it i started to cry. I kept telling myself they were tears of JOY, but they weren't and I knew they weren't. They were tears of fear that I would have to hear a second time from my dad that its just not going to work out and they are getting a divorce, for the second time.

What kid wants to hear their parents are getting divorced--Twice.

So this thanksgiving my cousin two of my aunts and my uncle will be with us, its going to be a packed house. and I'm excited because two of the 4 days i'll be there I'll be in LA with my brother.

I think the second thing I'm thankful for is my brother. i know i know he falls under the category of "FAMILY" but I think my brother is in a different category. I for ever since I can remember have looked up to my brother. I've followed in his footsteps and I think this is the first year I have drifted off his path and am trudging through life on my own. in elementary school I took Japaneses because he did, I wanted all the same teachers he had, I took German in high school because my brother did, I went to U of O to be close to him, I started out as a business major because he was one. I guess i finally realized that I'm not my brother. I'm not good at the same things he is. He is one of the most intelligent people I know. I respect him and look up to him everyday. I miss my brother. I miss not having him at UO with me. I loved when I saw him on campus and going to parties where everyone knew my brother and made me feel welcome! So this weekend going to LA with Matt and going to the game really excites me because we don't spend much time together. We don't talk much, but when we do its great. I feel like i still want to follow in his footsteps, like I want to live in Seattle next year. and ultimately I want to end up in Portland. But I guess thats why we're brother and sister, we think alike. we like the same things (occasionally.)

Anyway I guess I can say this is the first year I'm truly looking forward to my family. I want to be with them and just enjoy myself.

I guess I'll be thankful if my flight gets out of Eugene on time too. I always seem to have trouble out of this DAMN airport.