its all coming back to me

So I made the rash decision to skip all my classes today and work on my applications for internships. I also decided to crack out my Felicity DVD seasons. I don't know what it is about this series but I guess I've always wish my life mimicked it. as tragic as that sounds. The characters, seem so much older than I am and they are freshman in the series. I have to keep telling my self I'm watching a tv series. I've spent all my time waiting for that moment in college that will be amazing. That will make this experience of being in college so amazing to look back on. But I'm realizing slowly that its the little things that count. I don't need some large life changing event to define my college experience. we decide little by little what our lives are going to be but, its our reactions that matter.
So many things have happened to me in my life time thus far I often question when am I going to catch a break? But its not about the breaks in life, its about the learning experience and how much I've taken away from those experiences and challenges and grown.
I guess this first episode of felicity really took me back to high school graduation. Today when cleaning out one of my drawers I found this letter that Mr. Buchanan wrote to me the day of my graduation. It was in response to a letter I had written to him as a class project. In my senior english class we were asked to write a letter to a teacher who had influenced us through our time in the Lake oswego school district.
anyway I had chosen mr. buchanan because my senior year was one of the hardests and he seemed to care. anyway he handed me this two paged typed letter sharing a little bit about himself.
in this letter he says, "All I can tell you to do is create YOUR OWN reality. Both inside your mind, your self concept, but also the world around you. it is up to YOU to create positive experiences both today, tonight, tomorrow, the next day, but most importantly NOW. This moment. make this one the gift to yourself. and most importantly when you figure out how to do that for yourself, tart sharing it with others." in the close of the letter he challenged me, he said " If I have one challenge for you on top of succeeding at what you want to do in life, it is to reach out to PEOPLE. In my opinion, the best thing you can do in this world is not to travelt o a fun place, or buy something cool, ore even look really good, but the best thing you can possibly do is engage in a friendship or relationship with a PERSON or friendships with groups of people. The most meaningful moments in my likfe have not been when i was staring at a material worldly thing, but rather when i have felt that closeness of friends, family, and loved ones. YOU, as does everyone, have the capacity to do whatever you want with your time on this planet. Figure out what you want to do, and then go for it with all your might. and of course, be good at doing it."

I don't know why but every time i read this It inspires me so much. I miss sitting in that class as much as i struggled through it and hated high school I would go back and do it all over again simply to sit in Mr. Buchanan's math class and be inspired by the words he says and the life he lives. He is truly someone who is making the most of his time on earth and enjoying every minute of it.
its weird to think i received this letter four years ago. i feel like it was yesterday. and some days it feels like decades ago, I can't believe a year from now i'll be at some job, working for the man. That isn't what I want to do with my life. I want to use my creativity to expand horizons and make someone else have an amazing experience in their life. I strive for others what I strive for myself. and If I can find someone way to do that as a profession, then hell I'm there.

In the words of buchanan it truly has been a weird year, a strange month, and an odd day.